First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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