i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
