Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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