You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
