I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
