Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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