Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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