so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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