is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
