So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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