When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
