4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
