i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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