So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
PANTIES FOUND
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