5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
