fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
