Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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