neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
