she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
