i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
