I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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