dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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