Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
