I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I want is dick and wine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
