I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
