They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
