your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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