I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
