C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Two words: blizzard sex
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
