That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
