Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
