Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
