Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
