I love black thongs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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