i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We got so high we made milksteak
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
