i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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