I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
