all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
