if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
