Best friends brother. Beat that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
