oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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