didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
