piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
