my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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