But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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