I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
