Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
