Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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