Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
