the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
